Draw A Line

Miscommunication happens in every family, often in small ways that create big frustrations.

The exercise: Each person draws a single, continuous line on a piece of paper without showing the other person. The line can have curves, angles, loops…whatever you want.

Then, one person describes their line using only words (no hand gestures, no showing the paper). The other person tries to replicate the line based solely on the verbal description.

After attempting the drawing, compare the original and the copy. Then switch roles.

What this reveals:

• How hard it is to communicate precisely
• How much we assume others understand what we mean
• How frustrating unclear communication feels
• How important questions are for clarity

Follow-up questions:

• “What was the most frustrating part of that activity?”
• “When you were describing your line, what did you assume I understood that I actually didn’t?”
• “When you were drawing from my description, what information were you missing?”
• “What’s one small change we can make in our daily conversations to be clearer with each other?”

Application to real life: 

After doing this activity, connect it to actual family communication challenges:

• “Remember when we were frustrated because I thought you said you’d be home by 9 and you thought I said 10? That’s kind of like trying to draw this line—we weren’t as clear as we thought we were.”
• “When you say ‘I’ll clean my room later,’ what does ‘later’ mean to you? To me, ‘later’ means before dinner. But maybe to you it means before bed?”

The validation step: This activity can reveal how often miscommunication happens even when both people are trying. Validate this reality: “Communication is hard! Even when we’re both doing our best, we sometimes miss each other. That’s normal. What matters is that we keep trying to be clearer.”

Advanced version: After doing the line exercise, try it with a more complex shape or even a simple scene (a house, a stick figure, etc.). Notice how much more precision is required as complexity increases. Just like how more emotional or complex topics in real life require more careful communication.

Real application: Parent: “When you say you need ‘space,’ what does that actually mean? Like, do you want me in another room, or is it okay if I’m nearby but quiet?” Teen: “I guess I mean I need like 20 minutes alone in my room with the door closed. Not like, hours.” Parent: “Got it. So if I check on you after 20 minutes, that’s okay?” Teen: “Yeah, that’s fine.”