My “Community Web”

Isolation is one of the biggest risk factors for mental health struggles in teens and adults alike. But many people don’t realize what their community might actually look like until they map it out visually.

The core principle: Community isn’t just about the quantity of relationships, it’s about recognizing the web of connection that already exists and identifying where you want to strengthen ties.

The “Community Web” activity:

On a piece of paper, write your name in a circle in the center. Then:

• Draw circles around your center circle for different people or groups who are part of your life (family members, friends, teammates, teachers, neighbors, online communities, etc.)
• Draw lines connecting them to you. Use different colors or line styles to represent different types of connections:
  • Solid line = close, regular connection
  • Dotted line = occasional connection
  • Wavy line = complicated relationship
  • Double line = someone you can call in crisis
• Draw lines between circles if those people know each other. This reveals how interconnected (or separate) your communities are.

What this reveals:

• Who you’re connected to
• How isolated or interconnected your support systems are
• Gaps in your community
• People you might be taking for granted
• Relationships you want to strengthen

Follow-up questions:

• “Looking at your web, what surprises you?”
• “Is there anyone on your web you want to connect with more? What’s one step you could take to do that?”
• “Who on this web would you reach out to if you needed support? What kind of support would you ask from them?”
• “Are there any people or groups missing from your web that you’d like to add?”
• “How does it feel to see all of these people who are part of your life?”

The compassionate curiosity connection: This activity builds the skill of seeing relationships with fresh eyes. Instead of dismissing connections (“Oh, I barely know them”) or taking them for granted (“Of course my aunt is there for me”), you get curious about the actual shape and strength of your support network.

Discussion prompts after sharing:

• “What do you notice about the differences between our webs?”
• “Is there someone on my web you’d like to meet or know better?”
• “Is there anyone on your web you think I should know about?”
• “How can we help each other strengthen our community connections?”

Example

A teen creates their web and realizes:

• Most friends are from school (only one community source)
• No adults outside family in their web
• Friend groups are separate (no interconnection)
• No one marked with “double line” for crisis support

This sparks conversation with parent: Teen: “I didn’t realize how much all my friends are just from school. Like, if something happened with that friend group, I’d have no one.” Parent: “That makes sense. When I was your age, I had the same thing. What do you think about trying that pottery class you mentioned? That could add a different circle to your web.”

Making it actionable. After completing the web, each person identifies:

1. One relationship to strengthen (reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while)
2. One gap to fill (join a new group, reconnect with extended family, meet neighbors)
3. One way to integrate communities (introduce people from different circles)

The ongoing practice: Revisit your community web every few months. Add new people, remove connections that have faded, strengthen lines for relationships that have deepened. This visual representation helps you see how your community evolves over time.

When someone is struggling: If your teen (or you) are going through a hard time, pull out the community web and ask:

• “Looking at your web, who could you reach out to about this?”
• “What kind of support do you need right now? Who on your web could provide that?”
• “If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to anyone on your web, what does that tell us?”

This can reveal isolation before it becomes crisis-level and prompt conversations about building stronger support systems.

Validation around small webs: If someone’s web is sparse, resist the urge to fix it immediately or make them feel bad. Validate: “It makes sense your web looks like this right now. You’ve been going through a lot.” Then: “What’s one small step toward adding one connection?”

Quality matters more than quantity. A web with three deep, trusted connections is stronger than a web with 20 surface-level connections.