When Your Kid Says “I’m Fine” (But Clearly Isn’t)

Every parent knows the “I’m fine” that means absolutely nothing is fine. The Kids Mental Health Foundation shares what actually gets kids talking again, and it’s not what most of us think.

What doesn’t work: “I know you’re not fine. What’s really going on?” This puts kids on the defensive and they’ll double down on being closed off.

What does work: Accept their answer and create space for them to change their mind. “Okay. I can tell you’re upset because ___. But I understand you don’t want to talk about it right now. When would be a better time to chat?” And then the parent and child can agree to return to the conversation at a later time.If they do start talking: Resist the urge to say “I knew something was wrong!” Instead, try “I’m grateful you decided to share this with me.” This reinforces that opening up was their choice, which makes them more likely to do it again.